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Wednesday, 14 September 2011

  • Doffi Lee 18 Mar 2000 to 13 Sep 2011

    he was such a loyal friend, never left my side wherever we went
    he would nuzzle under my blanket, stealing from me all the warmth he needed
    he never asked for much, except to always be near me
    he is constantly hungry even when he falls sick

    I had to let him go and set him free on 13.09.11
    we found out he had a brain tumor causing him to behave like a totally different dog
    we lost him without realising it
    that he slowly slipped away without love
    broken hearted and ill

    I know I have myself to blame
    maybe if I had shown him more attention I would have realised he was not the same
    maybe if I had sat down with him more often he would not have been emotional short-changed
    there is no room for regrets but it's tough not to be filled with immense guilt

    I betrayed his love
    I was not able to protect and save him from his pain
    I let him down

    I pray that he is over the rainbow bridge running across green pastures
    having a companion (which he would love to have)
    I know I did my best for 10yrs, but in the last 1.5yrs, I watched him withered.




    I will meet you on the other world someday and till then, you are greatly missed.
    And you will ALWAYS have that special place in my heart. My first dog, best friend, my companion.







Sunday, 20 March 2011

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

  • role model



    with a new role as a mother, I now am more cautious of what I say and do infront of the little one.
    She picks up things we say really quick.
    For sure, I can't say fuck anymore. and there's shit, damn, asshole, CB and many others.

    This made me think about how I should start setting a good example myself.
    If I do not want her to be shy, I will not teach her shame.
    If I do not want her to be aggressive, I will not display violence.
    If I do not want her to be timid, I will not show her fear.
    If I do not want her to be insecure, I will not threaten.

    Easy for me to put these in words, tough to put them into practise.

    Children are born with such innocence, it almost evil to be even seen yelling at them.
    And yet, as parents, it is also almost impossible to hold your fury.
    I keep telling myself, count to 10 before I flare up, it helps.

    And till today, I am proud to say I have yet to blow my top at her or hit her.

    Dear god, please give me patience to bring up my little one,
    give me strength to fight my challenges,
    give me courage to face disappointments,
    give me hope to carry on my role.






Wednesday, 16 February 2011

  • valentine



    I never celebrate Valentines day.

    It is seen by me as a marketing gimmick more than anything else.
    With florists and diners taking the chance to raise their prices by more than double the usual
    and young students pushing roses to your face on the streets,
    and worse, the girlfriend who is hugging the gi-normous teddy - bigger than her boyfriend.
    No, Valentines day is definitely not my cuppa tea.

    So, I have told M I don't fancy receiving flowers because they do not last.
    Then, I ended up having received flowers only once in my 13 years with him.
    It's true, I wasn't lying, I really don't need to receive flowers as his pledge of love.
    Especially on Valentines day, where million of others on the planet are getting excited over bunch of flowers.

    But, I do love flowers. I like buying and arranging them and putting them around the house.

    And I think it's much sweeter to receive flowers for no reason at all. Like there isn't any occasion, just he wants to tell you that he appreciates you.





Wednesday, 09 February 2011

  • 格格 - that was what he used to call me.



    I had wanted to write about some reflections I had from reading through my very 1st post in 2007 till yesterday's    .
    Then something happened.

    A friend from secondary school dropped me a message on FB asking me to call her back immediately when I see her note.
    So, I rang her up from office this morning and she told me a dear friend of ours sank into coma on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year.

    He was diagnosed with water trapped in the back of this brains, and underwent surgeries to rectify that, causing a series of mild strokes, resulted in nerve damage on his face. This had an immense effect on his self esteem and deterred him from attending an old schoolmates gathering in December, even though he was dying to see everyone. In January this year, his condition worsen and the coma happened.

    According to Sarah, Willis' sister, he mentioned that he misses some old friends from school and my name was mentioned. - I broke down upon hearing that. We were pretty close in school days, we were the naughty bunch in class and we used to have long conversations over the phone.

    Many years have gone past since we were 16. I used to see him when I walked past where he worked, I would pop my head in and say hi. We drifted apart because we started pursuing our own lives.

    My heart is heavy now as I prepare myself to see him in ICU this afternoon. I pray that all will be fine and this is just one of the tougher battles he needs to fight.

    God Bless you my friend.




  • Visit perfectlywhite's Xanga Site
    • Name: Rachel
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 9/26/2007

Know me

  • I wanna learn to love like there's no tomorrow : I wanna have my family with me till my last breath : I wanna have all the riches in the world : I wanna have my canine companions around me all the time : I wanna travel to all the countries I like

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  • Your nephew's such a cute fella. So much cuter than some brats that I've known! :-p
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